partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i can’t believe this, i thought what we had was special. you met my family and made me dinner. now all of a sudden you claim you’re a “waiter” and you’re just “doing your job”

I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people

sorryforpartybarackin:

OH ‘sexually active’ i thought you said ‘radioactive.’ well in that case, no. i am not

sallyjacksoning:

there was a drug search at our school today and they busted at least seven people

at a middle school

mntrose:

The most horrific thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you

brittabaggles:

do you ever just refuse to go to bed because that means tomorrow is going to happen

(Source: frankybluerichards)

thecompanionsdoctor:

My week is basically:

  • Monday
  • Monday #2
  • Monday #3
  • Monday #4
  • Friday
  • Saturday
  • Pre-Monday

fuckheaded:

Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick

lampsarepeopletoo:

they call me macklemore in math class because im like

what what what what what

what what what what what what what

what what what what

kawaii-aussie:

basically tumblr is like our father and we’re all his children and he is about to get married to yahoo who is a massive bitch and will probably ruin our lives and we’re like no dad stop and we’re all crying very loudly because we dont want yahoo to be our new mum because she is a monster who will probably kill dad when he becomes useless and take all his money that he left to us the bottOM LINE IS NO PLS DONT SELL TUMBLR DAVID KARP NOOOO DONt do It